My 4 year-old son woke up this morning, drudged over to me in a half daze as I was getting dressed and announced, in the most pitiful of voices, “Daddy, my legs don’t work.” Here we go. Is he sick? Does he have some exotic malady? He did show up with a red blotch on the side of his face the other day. Maybe he got bit by something. Maybe he has West Nile virus! No fever, though. Allergies? Perhaps, since he does suffer from them and it’s spring in Virginia (allergy capital of the world). Or, does he just not want to go to school? Quite possible given the long conversation we had last night about his not wanting to stay in extended care after preschool today. Last week we started him in extended care for the first time, just one day a week. He was excited about going last week, but this week is a different story. “But I will miss Mommy” he told me with quivering lip last night.
Ugh. Do we go with “Buck up, son. You’re going to make it.”? Or do we say “Snuggle up on the couch and stay home with Mommy.”? The dilemma my wife and I faced this morning constituted a battle between the two basic, but core, components of human development that every parent in every part of the world faces a hundred times a day, in a myriad different forms. The battle between supporting their child’s exploration and mastery (my son’s need to be able to push through minor emotional and physical discomforts as a means of developing resiliency) and being a safe harbor of physical and emotional restoration in the face of difficulties that may be too great to overcome alone (my son’s need to rest, physically and emotionally, in order to gather the strength to get through his long school day).These two concepts, exploration and mastery versus safe harbor, are referenced over and over again on the Apprenticeship Parenting website.They serve as the basic reference point for applying apprenticeship parenting to the real life circumstances of raising your child in your ever changing life circumstances.
To get a basic primer on your child’s inherent and ongoing need for exploration and safe harbor, visit the Apprenticeship Parenting resource pages. They are your shortcuts to becoming a child social-emotional development expert, without the hassle of getting a Ph.D.
Leave a Reply